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the first time with contractions. Ultrasound showed that we were having another girl,
and that I was not in labor. Instead, my right kidney was failing. My right kidney was
dilated. I went into surgery a stint was placed. This had to be replaced less than a
month later, and then again a month after that. At 38 weeks, the doctors decided in
order to try to save my kidney it would be best to induce labor. My labor went easy.
When I reached 7 cm her heart rate started dropping. I was worried but the nurses
tried to act as if everything was ok. With in minutes I went from 7-10 cm. It was time
to push. I pushed once and the doctor yelled STOP! The cord was wrapped around
her neck twice. That is why her heart rate was dropping. She was safely delivered
although she was not crying. They rushed her over to the table and started Oxygen.
She quickly recovered and was brought to me. Not only was her cord wrapped
around her neck she had also tied it in two knots. This was just the way mine was
when I was born. Kathleen Jean, my 6th child, was born into this world weighing 7
lbs 15 oz. My kidney has begun to recover. It appears that maybe she was laying in
a way that was some how stressing the kidney.
Katee was a pure joy. She was such a happy child. Even people who where not
"baby people" were drawn to her. She had something that was just irresistible about
her. Her brother and sister adored her. They nicked named her Katee Bug. I
nursed her exclusively, we co-slept, we do not smoke, rarely drink, and do not use
drugs. We followed every rule that there is in the guidelines for SIDS preventions.
Our family was complete.
On Jan 22, 2002, I had nursed Katee and laid her down for a nap on our couch. She
was 5 foot from me. My husband came home I looked over at her and she was fine.
A few minutes maybe even seconds later I glanced over and she was pale. We
called 911, and did CPR. AS I was doing CPR, I felt a shock go through my body.
Katee left us! I knew she was gone but we had to keep trying. EMS arrived bagged
her and off to ER they went. The hospital here did revive her. She was then flown to
St. Louis Cardinal Glennon Hospital. The doctors there were honest. The outlook
was grim! In 20 years, he had never seen a baby in this condition live. The
diagnosis was Interrupted SIDS. We would have 24-48 hours with our baby. When
48 hours arrived, we had hope. Maybe just maybe she would prove them wrong.
Our joy was soon destroyed because she took a turn for the worse. The end was
near. A Ct showed that the whole top portion of her brain was dead. She did have
brain stem reactions however she would never be more than what we saw before us,
with the exceptions of a few struggled breathes, lifeless. We choose to remove life
support and with in 5 minutes Katee passed way peacefully in my arms. January 24,
2002 at the age of 4 mo and 4 days, our baby became an Angel.
We laid her to rest on January 28, 2002. The funeral was beautiful. The director
said it was one of the largest they have done. A large part of our small town turned
out to say good-bye to our Angel. After all the fighting to get her here, God took our
baby back to Heaven with him. We do not understand why our baby? WHY? I ask
that 100x a day. We may never know why here on Earth, but who are we to question
God's Will? After all the prayer he gave us, The Lord's Prayer, says "Thy will be
done on Earth as it is in Heaven" This is the only comfort we have.
You see we were treated horrible by DFS after the death of our daughter. Not only
did I have to return to our home with out our baby but I also had to return to a letter
posted on my door as If we were common criminals. They did not have their info
right. The letter was addressed to Rodney and Rebecca (my 2 year old!) I called
them and told them that we did not want their services. That we had a counselor and
that they were not welcomed in our home. The Police did their investigations, as did
the hospital. There were NO SIGNS of abuse! We thought all was over. A week
later, we received a letter that said if we did not allow them to see our children; they
would have to open a case against us. We had to pull our kids out of school and go
to their office. They admitted that this was all a mistake. When a SIDS death
happens in Missouri, it is called into Jeff City as an F case. For some reason (a
mistake), someone called it in as an infant death unknown, as if they found her dead
on the side of the road! We had to go through HELL because someone made a
mistake. Even after they realized they made the mistake they still had to drag us
through the mud because that is the way, "Protocol tells them to do things! Our
daughter’s death was tainted because THEY made a mistake.
We contacted SIDS Resources in St. Louis. They called DFS and requested they
take a SIDS informational and sensitivity class. They refused! They told the director
they did not have time for something like that. They do not have time to correct their
mistake. They do not have time to make sure they do not break the heart of another
grieving parent. I am sorry but this is not acceptable. Not in our minds. Our wish is
to tell everyone we can about our daughter, the joy she brought us and the abuse we
received at the hands of an out of control government agency.
the sudden death of an other wise healthy infant under
one year of age which remains unexplained after a
thorough case investigation, including performance of a
complete autopsy, examination of the death scene, and
review of the clinical history. Basically, SIDS is not a
diagnosis of a specific illness but a general category that
they place these deaths in, when there are no answers.
Why does SIDS happen? They really do not know. It
could be..... one of a hundred different guesses. All I
know is that is steals away our children and leaves us
empty!
This picture was taken
just a few days before
she returned to Heaven.
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